Ravelled Rainbows

 

Leading up to July 5th, and here on after…
I love you mom…….

I do not just remember on this day, but every day.

When you come into this world, birthed by your mothers hard labour of love,
there is instant trust, and with each day that passes this trust of love grows to the strength of your whole being. As you grow and the world changes around you, one thing remains constant, strong and true, your mother’s love.
The love I speak of is now contained within my very being, stored up throughout the years for such a time as this
Never in all my years did I once give it a passing thought, a hint of worry, that I would not have my mother, she was always there, no matter what, when , how or when…she was always there!

Through eight years of caregiving for this generous precious soul I call mother, I can honestly say I stayed focused on her, not the what ifs…. and I have such wonderful memories, stored up from each moment spent with her.
There is too much to write, and the words continue to fail me as I dare describe what she means to me, and how I miss her touch however, I was blessed to have a peek into the very depths of her heart and soul before, between, and on the other side of that horrific disease dementia that she carried as her burden, her last struggle in this life. I can honestly say, “God bless you mom! I love you! You are alive in my heart and alongside of me through the rest of my journey here on this earth, Thank you”!

 

I feel the touch
of her warm weathered hand
her soft gentle voice
as it carries my soul,
over the years
to once upon her knee
where safe in her arms
I could weather my storms

In mind once traced
the lines of her face
etched in my heart
a canvas of love,
remembering whens
making changes along the way
revealing dreams
of her hearts hidden schemes

Ravelled edges
of hidden rainbows
remnants of joy
created through,
sunshine and tears,
In search of one memory
to take comfort in life
oh just one little memory!

Hushed melodies
once songs of faith
trickle through the
hidden corridors of loss,
beating against her armour
riveting waves that
fashion and fabricate
her very inner soul

The cool dew
caresses her toes
as she runs through
the meadows
with her loved ones
earthly battle vanishes
through her realm
of continual joy

Lovingly,
Kathy

KJS2018

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Calvary

From the window
of my heart
my soul is
cast in shadow

The drops of rain
that hit the pane
are flowing
from my eyes

Sensed release
it graces mind
as through life
I cast a glance

I read the chapters
one by one
how each trial
came through the fire

With each dawn
I call upon Calvary
re visit His blood
that covers my sin

Prevailed against
short comings to fault
I reach redemption
silver chord of hope

KJS©

Write My Dream

I woke up
screaming
I cannot remember
I can’t feel
my heart is bursting
my chest exploding
tears streaming down
frantically I
search my mind
my heart
my soul
I broke the rail
at the top of the staircase
holding on tightly
sobbing
anxious
afraid
shaking uncontrollably
I cannot control
my tears
my fears
I can’t remember
my family
my girls
I see their faces
in blurred vision
I know them
where are they?
were they here?
I’m in a cold sweat now
praying
pleading
please remove
this memory
this dream
I woke at 4:20 AM
from this nightmare
Oh God spare me
spare my life
I’m afraid
my mom has dementia
and I don’t want
to inherit this demon

KJS©

The Golden Years? (Stairways of Silent Tears)

2 Timothy 2:3 (NLV)

Take your share of suffering as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

 

God bless our dear #seniors who have given their lives and have sacrificed so much to raise their families. Seniors need our #love, #care and #companionship. Let us all remember, if the Lord terries one day we to will be a #senior.

***

Through aged eyes they see strangers,
where is the family that they have borne?

Long hallways of endless panels,
take the place of delightful garden paths

longing for companionship,
an endless stairway of silent tears

The desire to visit the old homestead,
in its place just shadows of the past

Days and weeks blend into years,
happiness fading into loneliness

Gnarled hands that yearn for touch,
once worked hard to raise a family

Straining for sound of child’s footsteps…
only voices of the past linger in their mind

Dear souls who gave so much, now are given less, 
where is the family that they have borne?

So much is taken but how much is given?
love~respect~honour-! this is their right, is their cry

Todays ~ tomorrows turn into yesterdays~
memories they ache to share

Tenderly with helplessness their hearts cry out,
just take a moment~ can you spare a minute?

Through aged eyes they see strangers
Oh where is the family that they have borne?

KJS

Stairs of Silent Tears

 

Ephesians 6:2 (KJV)

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

 

These years of the elderly, are so fragile and a time in life when they need to be surrounded by #love #family #support #affection and #kindness,. Don’t let their last years of life slip away being left alone left with a “stairway of silent tears” #Help remove the shackles of loneliness and neglect, and replace them with compassion and embrace time spent with them.

God bless

***

The Language of Tears (He Loves Me)

He has a name for every star

He sees the ones that fall,

He cares for every little sparrow

He hears them when they call.

 

So is it so surprising

that He bottles up my tears,

within His book He knows to look

He knoweth all my fears?

 

He knows the tears He counts them all

from all my sorrows, trials and cares,

my tears of joy and blessings too

the silent ones that I don’t share.

 

He understands He hears each one

as from my eyes they drop,

the ones that hide within my heart

each one I try to stop.

 

For only God can understand

the language of my tears,

He reads them all with love and care

throughout my earthly years.

 

 

Kathy J Snow©

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9-11 We Remember

In honour and dedication to all the souls lost on 9-11

Prayers for all the victims and their families.

 

Today I cried a tear for you

I wonder ~ did you hear it fall?

Then slowly more fell down like rain

I wonder ~ did you know at all?

 

I talked with you awhile today

Although you were not here,

I let you know just how I felt

And I could sense you near.

 

Will meet again on that far shore

Where struggles and pain exist no more,

Will share our stories and untold tales

Forgotten this life of courageous trails.

Kathy J Snow©

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