Silent Prayers Of Dementia

There are days when the rays
light the path to expectation
a glimmer of understanding
through a light touch
it thrills my heart
and lets me know
I m not alone

Many are the afternoons
when the clouds gather
I wait to see the break
…oft so many times
they will darken
anxious storms
are near

Lonely nights stretch into days
restless waiting for dreams
exhausted with counting
mirage of shadows
through meshed
confusion my
voice is silent

In this blackness a silent soul
finds an arbour of conveyance
through the dark He walks
holding my hand and
hearing my prayers
silent assurance
set free
~
KJS

 

Wrote this #poem awhile ago while I stood in the shadows of this giant demon #dementia …. So thankful our dear mother is now at peace ❤ safe within the arms of her Lord and reunited with her family and friends who went before her ❤ Her silent prayers were heard….

 

In loving memory of my dear mother who passed away July 5, 2017 at 7:30 in the morning while her robins sang a song of peace.

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Write My Dream

I woke up
screaming
I cannot remember
I can’t feel
my heart is bursting
my chest exploding
tears streaming down
frantically I
search my mind
my heart
my soul
I broke the rail
at the top of the staircase
holding on tightly
sobbing
anxious
afraid
shaking uncontrollably
I cannot control
my tears
my fears
I can’t remember
my family
my girls
I see their faces
in blurred vision
I know them
where are they?
were they here?
I’m in a cold sweat now
praying
pleading
please remove
this memory
this dream
I woke at 4:20 AM
from this nightmare
Oh God spare me
spare my life
I’m afraid
my mom has dementia
and I don’t want
to inherit this demon

KJS©

Hushed Yesterdays (He that Hath an Ear)

 

Braille lyrics
to her song
music
her love
melody
of wishes
listen
they speak!

Words
forgotten yet
remembered
in her heart
refrained voice
stanzas of
forget me nots
bouquet of her life!

Fragrance
of beauty
from within without?
compelled to compose
her song!
instrument
of compassion
symphony
of love and life

KJS©

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Today My Heart Remembered

Thanking God for the gift of memory. Through this precious gift, my heart can still see, hear, feel, and embrace the wonderful ~ treasures of my childhood. Dedicated to my dear mother who suffers with dementia. I will recall and visit your memories, I will tell you your stories so you can visit your precious sun-kissed days.

Today my heart remembered…

Echoes
childhoods past
footprints
in summers
sweet green grass
lazily walking
through fields of wheat
feeling the touch
cool earth on my feet

Untroubled laughter
still winged in the air
carried away
by bluebirds so fare
the songs ~ the carefree
rest in the clouds
released gentle rains
bring rainbows aloud

Splashes of dreams
still ripple in lakes
carried by driftwood
my heart it awakes
reflections in ripples
bless me in poem
through arbor of verse
softly I roam

Sun-kissed days
still shine through greys
stealing small doubts
vining the way
warmth of small smiles
that melt ice of fear
feeling the love
bringing memories near

Blessings
this season
embossed in snowflakes
a gift from my Saviour
His purpose ~ no mistakes
chapters of life
He allows me to share
carefully chosen
gift wrapped with care
KJS©

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A Death Sentence To Memory

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We take for granted occurring thoughts that travel through our minds highway everyday! Miles of crowed lanes, speeding and passing, “I wonder why’s” and “I should have” but what about those REMEMBER WHENS? To someone diagnosed with Dementia, these are privileged, high valued precious moments, that may only take place on rare occasions, sadly becoming less and less with each passing day!

…It has been a little over six months since my mother has been diagnosed with MIXED AGGRESSIVE DEMENTIA. To see it written in black and white signed by the physician was startling, but witnessing it starting to play out in my mother’s daily life is heartbreaking, and excruciatingly life changing.

A Text book case?

Statistics show that this horrific disease is occurring in younger people everyday! this is both terrifying and alarming! I continue to review charts, graphs, and I refuse to let mom be just a chart, a number, another statistic, yes she has been handed a death sentence of MIXED AGGRESSIVE DEMENTIA but this does not mean her life has to stop and end without her dreams coming true! Educating ones self and creating awareness is one of the best swords in fighting depression with this disease! Every person that is afflicted with this demon is affected differently, no two are the same. The end result may be the same but the road and corners, trials, tests, and fears are different with each individual. I have worked and continue to work as a Caregiver with Alzheimer and Dementia, I witness this demon first hand, and pray for a cure everyday!

Find what avenues bring relaxation and release of sharing thoughts together…

Taking my mom for drives is the time when she seems to open up to me in her early stages of dementia. Driving back from a baby shower celebrating her great granddaughter mom turned to me and said, “Kathy I’m scared, I don’t know what is happening to me” I said, I know mom it is hard” I proceeded to share with her again how the doctor said her memory is going little by little, and some days faster than others. Mom shared her fears of her memory loss how she struggles remembering names, and what she did yesterday; “I want to go back home Kathy before I forget” I wept silent tears as I reassured my mother I will be here for her! I will do everything in my power to make her wish come true, “I will be with you mom when you cannot remember your stories and treasured memories I know them I will share them with you, together we will walk down this road of dementia together!”

Learning to Let Go

Learning to let go as a daughter, to let mom do things that make her happy, and not what I think is best all the time. Mom may want to wear her same favourite pink outfit five days in a row, let it be, just make sure it is kept laundered and let her wear it. If mom has decided for the time being she wants a brown hand towel hanging in her kitchen instead of the nice blue one that was bought to match, let it be! Educate yourself to learn to let go of your own wants for mom and let her have her own way, as long as it is not hurting her and makes her happy there is no harm.

~

Hints of paths
Decembers snow
my heart knows to follow
when cold winds blow
~
All but one
too many draw near
snowflakes of memories
are melting I fear
~
Captured magic
in moments of time
try to drift over
my journey inclined
~
Traveled often
as not to hide
keeping footprints visible
to hearts passing by
~
Untangling thoughts
of Christmas past
sharing the joys
making them last
~
With arms linked together
hearts trudge through the snow
my mother and I
catching memories as we go

KJS©

Please take a moment to stop by moms dream page
htpp://www.gofundme.com/momsdream

momandme

The Golden Years? (Stairways of Silent Tears)

2 Timothy 2:3 (NLV)

Take your share of suffering as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

 

God bless our dear #seniors who have given their lives and have sacrificed so much to raise their families. Seniors need our #love, #care and #companionship. Let us all remember, if the Lord terries one day we to will be a #senior.

***

Through aged eyes they see strangers,
where is the family that they have borne?

Long hallways of endless panels,
take the place of delightful garden paths

longing for companionship,
an endless stairway of silent tears

The desire to visit the old homestead,
in its place just shadows of the past

Days and weeks blend into years,
happiness fading into loneliness

Gnarled hands that yearn for touch,
once worked hard to raise a family

Straining for sound of child’s footsteps…
only voices of the past linger in their mind

Dear souls who gave so much, now are given less, 
where is the family that they have borne?

So much is taken but how much is given?
love~respect~honour-! this is their right, is their cry

Todays ~ tomorrows turn into yesterdays~
memories they ache to share

Tenderly with helplessness their hearts cry out,
just take a moment~ can you spare a minute?

Through aged eyes they see strangers
Oh where is the family that they have borne?

KJS

Stairs of Silent Tears

 

Ephesians 6:2 (KJV)

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

 

These years of the elderly, are so fragile and a time in life when they need to be surrounded by #love #family #support #affection and #kindness,. Don’t let their last years of life slip away being left alone left with a “stairway of silent tears” #Help remove the shackles of loneliness and neglect, and replace them with compassion and embrace time spent with them.

God bless

***

Pray For A Cure

Memory is fading the summers sun at eve

Countless weary efforts to make the heart believe,

Life that once existed still remains but in the past

Struggling now with every thought to make each new one last.

 

Thoughts that stray to childhood days and recall the spring of life

Adventures then now seam so real to block this new found strife,

The mind it plays these tricks of guess and wonder if then true

Everyday an uphill climb the memories turn to few.

KathyJSnow©

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