Faith Beyond The Chains

No recognition in the brown of her eyes
i miss the touch of her voiced memories
one by one they vanish leaving me with sorrow
and her with outbursts fuelled by frustration

We continue to guess what may be the cause
surmise to bring small comforts
conclusions masked with bitter hurt
but there are no winners here at all

Endless hallways tiled with failed circumstances
fallen between the cracks awaiting fulfillment
become dormant part of the crumbled plaster
given up by the deteriorating walls of hope

Heavy chained to the demon
barred from reality there is no key
the lock corroded with prescriptions of
empty promises bandaids for remaining life

 

KJS2018

Dedicated to my dear mom who battled dementia for over 8 years, and went home to Glory July 5, 2017 on the wings of angels and a song by her 5 robins ❤

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In Mourning

Shards of thoughts prick my feet
Onward I trudge through sorrows path
Confusion adds to the process of joys
My weary mind not up to the math

I complicate daily with minor details
Choking the life right out of the song
Existence is taken without ones permission
Is this the truth…did we ever belong?

Mistakenly I veer to the side of unknown
This realm is beyond comprehension
Believing in hope convinced in the faith
My soul is released of the tension

KJS©

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Silent Crosses and Hushed Tears

Silent crosses
scrape the earthy
floor of my heart
creating trenches
of sadness and heartbreak

I try to lift
the crosses
so they are not so heavy
my shoulders are tired
my chest is weak

looking downward
the brown murky dirt
meets my gaze
so dry so dusty
I pray for rain
to wash away the ache

Hushed tears
fill the trenches
with each step
footprints are graved
filled with faint hope
but mostly dread

Change is needed
prayer is choked
with vines of doubt
fear of voicing hurts
words are left unspoken
the ache continues

KJS

 

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Harbour Of Grace

When do I designate it a distraction ?

I lose my way in the wilderness of my being
existence only in the shell of my world
I create walls of shattered thoughts
mortar that crumbles beneath my feet

Weary I crawl and claw my way
through brambles and thorns
leaving surface scars of my journey

Do I ever reach the thought I’m thinking?

Will it every become an expression?

My words are scrambled as I fight for clarity
puzzle pieces have been lost and dropped
Will the canvas ever be whole again?

My harbour is vanishing before my very eyes
the lights are dimming in the thick dense fog
I’m prepared to lose the battle
my body is tired and growing heavy
tired of the struggle to stay afloat

Oh let me sink beneath the surface
the life line threads are unraveling
I am at peace my soul knows the way
inner peace welcomes me,
cloaks me with warmth and assurance
my soul is safe I am freed from this demon

I made it my feet touch the golden streets!

KJS©

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Tomorrow Is Monday

Today the sun is shining, it is Sunday.
I miss my mom
longing for the days
of feeling the sense
of belonging
everything is right
as she stands
arms outstretched
hanging the laundry
on the clothesline
I MISS MY MOM

Today I feel the warmth of the sun
I miss my mom
Spring is in the air
I need my mom
to come back
from the dark of dementia
my heart aches for
her original smile
without the lurking
of a disease
I’m unsettled
I feel her anxiety
I MISS MY MOM

Tomorrow is Monday

KJS©

Today I’m feeling selfish..

Heart of Cape Spear

 
Today I felt the wind on my face
frosty air for the birth of June

Over rocky cliffs I choose my steps
keeping the white capped blue within my view

Devotion of love for such a dear friend
Led me to the tip of Cape Spear

I felt your presence and your angels
your heart I held it warmed my hand

I released your heart into the ocean
closed my eyes and said a prayer

May waves free the power of life
giving way to calm and confidence

May her heart find peace a path of tranquility
an amen to freedom finding and loving herself

KJS©

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Hope (There is Love)

From a distance
down the hall
a sense of joy?
her heart feeling
familiarity
a glow
getting warmer…

Rays of happiness
feed the daisies
garden of hope
flourishes
with a visit
from a friend
her daughter
KJS©

Dedicated to my sister and her visit with mom today.
Raising awareness #pray for a #cure #dementia

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