The Great Lady Blue Heron

Her sinuous neck silhouettes

against the evening sky

as she progresses with determination

towards the waters of self reflection

Her reflection silent and unmoving,

stares calmly back at her.

What does she see? – past conflicts and ruffled feathers

but bids a peaceful, and proud independence

She evaluates her state

with a contemplative mind

determines her self and spiritual worth

eliminating all distractions of earthly life

The great blue heron has flown into the sun

her choice of flight inscribed on her heart

she wings her way to her realm of election

and there finds peace within her love

KJS2018

Ravelled Rainbows

 

Leading up to July 5th, and here on after…
I love you mom…….

I do not just remember on this day, but every day.

When you come into this world, birthed by your mothers hard labour of love,
there is instant trust, and with each day that passes this trust of love grows to the strength of your whole being. As you grow and the world changes around you, one thing remains constant, strong and true, your mother’s love.
The love I speak of is now contained within my very being, stored up throughout the years for such a time as this
Never in all my years did I once give it a passing thought, a hint of worry, that I would not have my mother, she was always there, no matter what, when , how or when…she was always there!

Through eight years of caregiving for this generous precious soul I call mother, I can honestly say I stayed focused on her, not the what ifs…. and I have such wonderful memories, stored up from each moment spent with her.
There is too much to write, and the words continue to fail me as I dare describe what she means to me, and how I miss her touch however, I was blessed to have a peek into the very depths of her heart and soul before, between, and on the other side of that horrific disease dementia that she carried as her burden, her last struggle in this life. I can honestly say, “God bless you mom! I love you! You are alive in my heart and alongside of me through the rest of my journey here on this earth, Thank you”!

 

I feel the touch
of her warm weathered hand
her soft gentle voice
as it carries my soul,
over the years
to once upon her knee
where safe in her arms
I could weather my storms

In mind once traced
the lines of her face
etched in my heart
a canvas of love,
remembering whens
making changes along the way
revealing dreams
of her hearts hidden schemes

Ravelled edges
of hidden rainbows
remnants of joy
created through,
sunshine and tears,
In search of one memory
to take comfort in life
oh just one little memory!

Hushed melodies
once songs of faith
trickle through the
hidden corridors of loss,
beating against her armour
riveting waves that
fashion and fabricate
her very inner soul

The cool dew
caresses her toes
as she runs through
the meadows
with her loved ones
earthly battle vanishes
through her realm
of continual joy

Lovingly,
Kathy

KJS2018

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A Death Sentence To Memory

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We take for granted occurring thoughts that travel through our minds highway everyday! Miles of crowed lanes, speeding and passing, “I wonder why’s” and “I should have” but what about those REMEMBER WHENS? To someone diagnosed with Dementia, these are privileged, high valued precious moments, that may only take place on rare occasions, sadly becoming less and less with each passing day!

…It has been a little over six months since my mother has been diagnosed with MIXED AGGRESSIVE DEMENTIA. To see it written in black and white signed by the physician was startling, but witnessing it starting to play out in my mother’s daily life is heartbreaking, and excruciatingly life changing.

A Text book case?

Statistics show that this horrific disease is occurring in younger people everyday! this is both terrifying and alarming! I continue to review charts, graphs, and I refuse to let mom be just a chart, a number, another statistic, yes she has been handed a death sentence of MIXED AGGRESSIVE DEMENTIA but this does not mean her life has to stop and end without her dreams coming true! Educating ones self and creating awareness is one of the best swords in fighting depression with this disease! Every person that is afflicted with this demon is affected differently, no two are the same. The end result may be the same but the road and corners, trials, tests, and fears are different with each individual. I have worked and continue to work as a Caregiver with Alzheimer and Dementia, I witness this demon first hand, and pray for a cure everyday!

Find what avenues bring relaxation and release of sharing thoughts together…

Taking my mom for drives is the time when she seems to open up to me in her early stages of dementia. Driving back from a baby shower celebrating her great granddaughter mom turned to me and said, “Kathy I’m scared, I don’t know what is happening to me” I said, I know mom it is hard” I proceeded to share with her again how the doctor said her memory is going little by little, and some days faster than others. Mom shared her fears of her memory loss how she struggles remembering names, and what she did yesterday; “I want to go back home Kathy before I forget” I wept silent tears as I reassured my mother I will be here for her! I will do everything in my power to make her wish come true, “I will be with you mom when you cannot remember your stories and treasured memories I know them I will share them with you, together we will walk down this road of dementia together!”

Learning to Let Go

Learning to let go as a daughter, to let mom do things that make her happy, and not what I think is best all the time. Mom may want to wear her same favourite pink outfit five days in a row, let it be, just make sure it is kept laundered and let her wear it. If mom has decided for the time being she wants a brown hand towel hanging in her kitchen instead of the nice blue one that was bought to match, let it be! Educate yourself to learn to let go of your own wants for mom and let her have her own way, as long as it is not hurting her and makes her happy there is no harm.

~

Hints of paths
Decembers snow
my heart knows to follow
when cold winds blow
~
All but one
too many draw near
snowflakes of memories
are melting I fear
~
Captured magic
in moments of time
try to drift over
my journey inclined
~
Traveled often
as not to hide
keeping footprints visible
to hearts passing by
~
Untangling thoughts
of Christmas past
sharing the joys
making them last
~
With arms linked together
hearts trudge through the snow
my mother and I
catching memories as we go

KJS©

Please take a moment to stop by moms dream page
htpp://www.gofundme.com/momsdream

momandme

The Golden Years? (Stairways of Silent Tears)

2 Timothy 2:3 (NLV)

Take your share of suffering as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

 

God bless our dear #seniors who have given their lives and have sacrificed so much to raise their families. Seniors need our #love, #care and #companionship. Let us all remember, if the Lord terries one day we to will be a #senior.

***

Through aged eyes they see strangers,
where is the family that they have borne?

Long hallways of endless panels,
take the place of delightful garden paths

longing for companionship,
an endless stairway of silent tears

The desire to visit the old homestead,
in its place just shadows of the past

Days and weeks blend into years,
happiness fading into loneliness

Gnarled hands that yearn for touch,
once worked hard to raise a family

Straining for sound of child’s footsteps…
only voices of the past linger in their mind

Dear souls who gave so much, now are given less, 
where is the family that they have borne?

So much is taken but how much is given?
love~respect~honour-! this is their right, is their cry

Todays ~ tomorrows turn into yesterdays~
memories they ache to share

Tenderly with helplessness their hearts cry out,
just take a moment~ can you spare a minute?

Through aged eyes they see strangers
Oh where is the family that they have borne?

KJS

Stairs of Silent Tears

 

Ephesians 6:2 (KJV)

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

 

These years of the elderly, are so fragile and a time in life when they need to be surrounded by #love #family #support #affection and #kindness,. Don’t let their last years of life slip away being left alone left with a “stairway of silent tears” #Help remove the shackles of loneliness and neglect, and replace them with compassion and embrace time spent with them.

God bless

***

Loves Consolation

If I should go before thee love

I know twas meant to be,

I love thee more than life itself

I’ll be waiting there for thee!

Within your heart forever be

My love shall guard thy dreams,

I’ll come to you in dark of night

When sleep is robbed from thee.

No tears of sorrow fall for me

Thy heart cut like a knife,

My soul is free I’ll wait for thee

Beside the tree of life!

Kathy J Snow©

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In honour of Remembrance Day. To all who lost their lives fighting for our country. To all who have lost someone , and waiting to meet them over yonder. To the young men and women who continue to serve and fight for freedem. May God bless and keep you.

Pray For A Cure

Memory is fading the summers sun at eve

Countless weary efforts to make the heart believe,

Life that once existed still remains but in the past

Struggling now with every thought to make each new one last.

 

Thoughts that stray to childhood days and recall the spring of life

Adventures then now seam so real to block this new found strife,

The mind it plays these tricks of guess and wonder if then true

Everyday an uphill climb the memories turn to few.

KathyJSnow©

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The Loss

Losing a loved one is never painless

It may cause the heart to tear,

Remembering the loving Savior

Gives no more than we can bear.

 

Comfort in those words of solace

Tis a better place they be,

Carried away on angel’s wings

Their souls at last are free!

 

Sitting by the tree of life

They sing praises to our king,

Thankful for the battles ore

Amazing Grace is what they sing.

 

How strange it is that they now marvel

How long that it will be,

When all the saints together ~

Will live for all eternity!

 

Kathy J Snow©

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