The Embrace

Sustain my heart 

with a long good bye

watching you leave 

till your shadow dissolves

into tears of longing 

oh… not to be left behind!

 

Weary eyes that

give way to rest

slipping into dreams

of yesterdays 

oh… familiar caresses! 

from one who went before

 

Oh…what is this! 

new life of watching

waiting and wondering

a world where 

days are echoed 

with such continual emptiness

 

Pleadings with prayer 

oh…God help me!

release my body

from this prison

filled with little dignity

and racked with pain and sorrow

 

Respect of a life 

the sword is raised

shrouded by heaviness

of grieving and death

oh…arms are lifted!

as breath turns into embrace

KJS

 

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Photo compliments of Joyce Peters ❤

The Great Lady Blue Heron

Her sinuous neck silhouettes

against the evening sky

as she progresses with determination

towards the waters of self reflection

Her reflection silent and unmoving,

stares calmly back at her.

What does she see? – past conflicts and ruffled feathers

but bids a peaceful, and proud independence

She evaluates her state

with a contemplative mind

determines her self and spiritual worth

eliminating all distractions of earthly life

The great blue heron has flown into the sun

her choice of flight inscribed on her heart

she wings her way to her realm of election

and there finds peace within her love

KJS2018

Faith Beyond The Chains

No recognition in the brown of her eyes
i miss the touch of her voiced memories
one by one they vanish leaving me with sorrow
and her with outbursts fuelled by frustration

We continue to guess what may be the cause
surmise to bring small comforts
conclusions masked with bitter hurt
but there are no winners here at all

Endless hallways tiled with failed circumstances
fallen between the cracks awaiting fulfillment
become dormant part of the crumbled plaster
given up by the deteriorating walls of hope

Heavy chained to the demon
barred from reality there is no key
the lock corroded with prescriptions of
empty promises bandaids for remaining life

 

KJS2018

Dedicated to my dear mom who battled dementia for over 8 years, and went home to Glory July 5, 2017 on the wings of angels and a song by her 5 robins ❤

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Ravelled Rainbows

 

Leading up to July 5th, and here on after…
I love you mom…….

I do not just remember on this day, but every day.

When you come into this world, birthed by your mothers hard labour of love,
there is instant trust, and with each day that passes this trust of love grows to the strength of your whole being. As you grow and the world changes around you, one thing remains constant, strong and true, your mother’s love.
The love I speak of is now contained within my very being, stored up throughout the years for such a time as this
Never in all my years did I once give it a passing thought, a hint of worry, that I would not have my mother, she was always there, no matter what, when , how or when…she was always there!

Through eight years of caregiving for this generous precious soul I call mother, I can honestly say I stayed focused on her, not the what ifs…. and I have such wonderful memories, stored up from each moment spent with her.
There is too much to write, and the words continue to fail me as I dare describe what she means to me, and how I miss her touch however, I was blessed to have a peek into the very depths of her heart and soul before, between, and on the other side of that horrific disease dementia that she carried as her burden, her last struggle in this life. I can honestly say, “God bless you mom! I love you! You are alive in my heart and alongside of me through the rest of my journey here on this earth, Thank you”!

 

I feel the touch
of her warm weathered hand
her soft gentle voice
as it carries my soul,
over the years
to once upon her knee
where safe in her arms
I could weather my storms

In mind once traced
the lines of her face
etched in my heart
a canvas of love,
remembering whens
making changes along the way
revealing dreams
of her hearts hidden schemes

Ravelled edges
of hidden rainbows
remnants of joy
created through,
sunshine and tears,
In search of one memory
to take comfort in life
oh just one little memory!

Hushed melodies
once songs of faith
trickle through the
hidden corridors of loss,
beating against her armour
riveting waves that
fashion and fabricate
her very inner soul

The cool dew
caresses her toes
as she runs through
the meadows
with her loved ones
earthly battle vanishes
through her realm
of continual joy

Lovingly,
Kathy

KJS2018

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In Mourning

Shards of thoughts prick my feet
Onward I trudge through sorrows path
Confusion adds to the process of joys
My weary mind not up to the math

I complicate daily with minor details
Choking the life right out of the song
Existence is taken without ones permission
Is this the truth…did we ever belong?

Mistakenly I veer to the side of unknown
This realm is beyond comprehension
Believing in hope convinced in the faith
My soul is released of the tension

KJS©

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Foundations of Truth

Crystal ships that hold no anchor
suspended by the oceans tide
reflections through the marbled slabs
hold no happiness an endless ride

Tall armoires that hold the riches
amethyst statues guard the fold
lighted lamps to hide such shadows
tables of glass that stand there bold

Hidden haven cloaked in ivory
its walls of linear lined with books
behind a desk with skillful hand
pages of knowledge the masters rook

Claws of gold that hold wood ransom
still life portraits share the breath ~
stale air that holds no promise
an empty world a kiss of death
~

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Looking Through The Glass

Buried deep within the glass
just beyond their reach
tiny bubbles trapped inside
form a world of mind and matter

Surface cracks just minor detail
fabricating lurking peril
future craters hold dark shadows
uncertainty of what lies ahead

Deception is its beauty
reflecting imagery mirage of hope
beveled edge that hold the prayers
tortured souls no longer cope

~

Final stages of dementia are frightening and in stark reality cruel.
In the fleeting moments one can offer love comfort through
soothing prayer, songs, and whispers of “all is well” as the tired
soul crosses over. Although the weary soul might not be able to respond in voice,
I believe with all my heart they can hear they feel the love, and whisper in their heart amen.

~

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Lullaby of Peace

sunset

The smell of death is pungent
dementia lurking in the shadows
the air is heavy but with a calmness
the torture will soon be over

Months of sadness give way to silence
eyes speak of better things to come
I hold her hand and sing of day
where memories of this shall be no more

A soft wind blows in fields of peace
gentle is the lullaby that calls her home
release my heart oh soul take flight
realm of glory eternal life

~

I have sat and held the hand of precious elderly, prayed in their ear when

their eyes could not open; when they no longer ate because the dementia told them they were already full.

I have sat and sang at the bedside of dear seniors and felt their last breath of life on my cheek as they crossed over into the realm of peace and no pain. I have been so richly blessed and honoured.

~

We have a hope of eternal life no death or dementia can
hinder the profound promises of God’s word.
Hold onto these promises they’ll carry one through.

KJS

The Battle (of Dementia)

poweroftheocean

The icy snow capped waves
lash against my weathered mind
tearing thoughts
bruising my weary being
I struggle to stay afloat

Treading water my eyes fix on a saviour
a boat though tossed about,
a lifeline a rescue ~
oh redeem me from my own judgements!

Wars that continue to rage
persist against the crashing breakers
catching hold with renewed strength
once again afloat, I pray it will last…
Oh dear God let it last!

~

In and out of darkness, fighting to stay afloat~
tortured places, these roaring seas of dementia, this is where
they go? This is where they fight for their life, their memory, their dignity!
Pray for strength, courage, and hope.
Pray for a cure.

www.gofundme.com/momsdream

Don’t Leave Without A Memory

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I loose my balance
stumbling on todays
catching a foothold on
perhaps and I hope so

Darkness overtakes the light
In search for glimmers
finding shards of rays
lighting the path of possibilities

Peering deep into her eyes
an inquest for clues of trust
yes I know her she comes often
a friend, a foe or family?

It’s me I’m here!
don’t leave without a memory
share with me the tales of today
for tomorrow I shan’t recall

~

If we could step inside the unsettled murky world of dementia, and in reality perceive
for a moment… what the dear souls that carry this heavy burden feel…what then?