Home » Poetry » A Death Sentence To Memory

A Death Sentence To Memory


We take for granted occurring thoughts that travel through our minds highway everyday! Miles of crowed lanes, speeding and passing, “I wonder why’s” and “I should have” but what about those REMEMBER WHENS? To someone diagnosed with Dementia, these are privileged, high valued precious moments, that may only take place on rare occasions, sadly becoming less and less with each passing day!

…It has been a little over six months since my mother has been diagnosed with MIXED AGGRESSIVE DEMENTIA. To see it written in black and white signed by the physician was startling, but witnessing it starting to play out in my mother’s daily life is heartbreaking, and excruciatingly life changing.

A Text book case?

Statistics show that this horrific disease is occurring in younger people everyday! this is both terrifying and alarming! I continue to review charts, graphs, and I refuse to let mom be just a chart, a number, another statistic, yes she has been handed a death sentence of MIXED AGGRESSIVE DEMENTIA but this does not mean her life has to stop and end without her dreams coming true! Educating ones self and creating awareness is one of the best swords in fighting depression with this disease! Every person that is afflicted with this demon is affected differently, no two are the same. The end result may be the same but the road and corners, trials, tests, and fears are different with each individual. I have worked and continue to work as a Caregiver with Alzheimer and Dementia, I witness this demon first hand, and pray for a cure everyday!

Find what avenues bring relaxation and release of sharing thoughts together…

Taking my mom for drives is the time when she seems to open up to me in her early stages of dementia. Driving back from a baby shower celebrating her great granddaughter mom turned to me and said, “Kathy I’m scared, I don’t know what is happening to me” I said, I know mom it is hard” I proceeded to share with her again how the doctor said her memory is going little by little, and some days faster than others. Mom shared her fears of her memory loss how she struggles remembering names, and what she did yesterday; “I want to go back home Kathy before I forget” I wept silent tears as I reassured my mother I will be here for her! I will do everything in my power to make her wish come true, “I will be with you mom when you cannot remember your stories and treasured memories I know them I will share them with you, together we will walk down this road of dementia together!”

Learning to Let Go

Learning to let go as a daughter, to let mom do things that make her happy, and not what I think is best all the time. Mom may want to wear her same favourite pink outfit five days in a row, let it be, just make sure it is kept laundered and let her wear it. If mom has decided for the time being she wants a brown hand towel hanging in her kitchen instead of the nice blue one that was bought to match, let it be! Educate yourself to learn to let go of your own wants for mom and let her have her own way, as long as it is not hurting her and makes her happy there is no harm.


Hints of paths
Decembers snow
my heart knows to follow
when cold winds blow
All but one
too many draw near
snowflakes of memories
are melting I fear
Captured magic
in moments of time
try to drift over
my journey inclined
Traveled often
as not to hide
keeping footprints visible
to hearts passing by
Untangling thoughts
of Christmas past
sharing the joys
making them last
With arms linked together
hearts trudge through the snow
my mother and I
catching memories as we go


Please take a moment to stop by moms dream page


5 thoughts on “A Death Sentence To Memory

  1. I like to think there is a remnant of the person inside the ones who have lost their memories. The movie, “Still Alice,” confirmed my four years of being an Activities Director at a nursing home, it would be either hand holding or gently spreading lotion on the person’s hands, music from the Big Band era, a scent of flowers, a rose or carnation placed by their nose and nodding back at me….
    I loved the poem and our ‘drives with Mom’ memories. Good choice to let go of some of our preconceptions and simply enjoy her for who she is now. Smiles, Robin

    • I believe there is “remnant” breaking through the realm of dementia ~ with love and compassion create miracles. To some a miracle has to be something huge astonishing beyond belief, to me a miracle is someone with the burden of dementia reaching out to me with a smile and accepts my smile in return. Thank you so much for taking the time to read Robin and leave your comment, I too treasure the nods 🙂 Appreciate you stopping by. 🙂

  2. Beautiful poem, Kathy. So moving. I love how you are finding ways to let your mother make choices and maintain her independence. That’s really important when she feels out of control and fearful because of her symptoms. God bless you both. 🙂 x

  3. Kathy, beautiful poetry! And your poignant statement, as well: ‘To some, a miracle has to be…..’ My mom also had Lewy Body Dementia so I understand fully the extent of your heartbreak. You, though have found a way to catch a glimpse of the star shining in the darkness…and every star is a step to a stronger tomorrow for both mom and you. So take those tiny miracles and make them ‘huge
    and astonishing beyond belief’ -because they are! The Lord gives us these tiny miracles to lead us closer to Him.
    Blessings beyond measure, Carol

    • Today your comment of compassion and encouragement is a twinkling start that shines bright even in the daytime!! Thank you so very much for stopping by and today the cross seems a little lighter. God bless you richly!

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