Entrusted Gifts

Awhile back a very dear neighbour looked me up to let me know her father had passed away. While he was laying in the hospital in a deep coma, she had played him my Precious Memories, CD. She related to me that she sensed the songs soothed him and brought him out of his coma long enough for her to say her good-byes. I was reminded of my gospel concerts, my readings, and writings, she told me she felt I was in the wrong place in my life and needed to get back into encouraging people ~ whether it be on paper or in song.

I have always felt a strong need to encourage, this journey can be quite difficult at times and very rough. A little encouragement directed from the Lord goes a long way!

Knowing you are called and led by the Lord is a wonderful revelation and a gift all in its self. When you struggle with these gifts and chose to ignore them, or use them not ~ for His honour and glory, then you are headed down the wrong path. God will get your feet straight on the path again, but now because you have abused this gift and wouldn’t get your self out-of-the-way, there are trials and tests you will have to go through.

As a young girl both writing and music were apart of my life. I wrote and kept journals of my thoughts, how I seen nature, the world and all its earthlings. My struggles and how they were overcome were penned in these journals also.

When I could reach the piano keys I was plinking and plunking. Sometimes my mother would have to tell me to take a break. I am sure although it sounded quite musical to me – I was lacking the structure of flowing melody! My mother did put me in piano lessons, I tried this for almost a year, but I would learn the songs but do different variations of the notes. I would keep the main melody but playing around with the notes to add more life to the songs! I was soon playing from heart with my eyes closed, upon great efforts my teacher finally told my mother at this point the lessons were not getting me where she wanted me to go. I was hearing the notes and memorizing the tunes in my head, and my fingers would play and feel them differently.

I remember someone once telling me that when you are born with a God-given gift, the devil always seems to attack you more ~ go after your gift so no one can or will be blessed by it. Looking back on my journey there where times I’m sure I felt that to be true!

There was a period in my life when I didn’t write, sing, and play my piano for the Lord ~ a very hard lesson to learn that’s for sure! You see I misused these wonderful gifts the Lord blessed my life with, in bars, clubs, singing and playing for dances, the wrong venue and avenue all together! It all was looking good for a while having a great time, until the Lord decided it was enough. I went through some heavy trials and tests, anxiety, panic attacks, I was withdrawing from life altogether unable to share and encourage. It was at what seemed my lowest time when I started back reading the Good book. I slept with the bible under my pillow. I would cry and call on the Lord! There were times I was rushed to the hospital thinking I was dying. The doctors hooked me up with all the wires testing my heart, printing graphs, but they could not pin point anything other than stress and anxiety. The doctors would tell me I was having panic attacks. I would go downstairs some nights and sit at my piano and play hymns till I had no physical strength left, I would literally crawl up the stairs and fall exhausted into bed.

I have gone through certain trials in my life that have led me to help and encourage others. Some trials so emotionally and physically challenging I thought I would never make it, but it was at these low times in my life God spoke to me.

Romans 8:28- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.

I will recall one incident and it takes me back to grade eight. My parents had made life changing decisions with their beliefs. My parents convictions were immediately placed upon my young life although I did not feel them in my heart. I went through very hard struggles and dark times because of this. I was not a popular girl, but I did fit in quite nicely, enjoying sports, and normal activities that were shared by my age group. Over night things changed I was not allowed to cut my hair, or curl it, or even braid it! All my pants were thrown into the furnace and burnt, I was only allowed to wear long skirts. I was taken out of all sports. I was told that sports was only for the male gender. I could only participate in gym if I wore a long heavy skirt. I was instantly shunned by the kids in my class, I think they were as confused as I was, and to be honest I think maybe that is why they reacted the way they did! My marks plummeted from A’s and B’s to all D’s and F’s, it was a very bad year for me. I only passed because my teachers said they knew I had it in me and was more than capable of doing the work. I am sure they felt for me and could see the struggles ~ but there was one young girl, she seemed to be an angel sent straight from heaven! She was always there for me, making sure no matter what the circumstance she did her very best to make me feel I belonged. This classmate made me comfortable in the surroundings that use to be comfortable. When everyone stayed away (I was the last one picked for any group projects) she was always there and would pick me! This encouragement made such an impression on my heart and my life. This wonderful compassion was burned into my memory.

There are too many pebbles and blessings to recall in this writing. ~ uphill climbs like the years spent in a controlling, judgmental, fear based church. On a continual basis this would dragged me down to depths of despair and depression almost to the point of stealing the very breath that God gave me. God brought me out, but not in a way I would have imagined! My heart might argue that the thirteen years of separation from my parents was the biggest trial! One thing I am certain of, and that is the Lord brought me through! He has given me new breath of revelation and inspiration! I use to have band aids on all my wounds that would keep opening from all the bitterness in my heart. My open wounds are now scars that have been healed by His mercy and grace. Scars healed by a love that I cannot fathom as a human. It is this love that caused my soul to pen the words of the song “It Should Have Been Me”

I am so grateful for these uphill climbs! They have brought me to where I am today. So very blessed to be able to encourage and lend a helping hand when I see a brother or sister struggling. I thank God for the gifts He has entrusted me with, it is a responsibility I take very seriously ~ these gifts that are attributes of His mercy and grace! My constant prayer is to always use them for His honour and glory ~ to use them only for the edification of a needy soul. May my life be a vessel used only for His purpose. My talent and gifts belong to Him. I have nothing to gain in this world, but give me Jesus who has touched my life and has given me strength and song for this journey!

Verse 1

The journey through life, can lead to some sorrows

and those sometimes uphills, Lord can tire out your soul,

And you just don’t understand why the battles outshine

Oh the blessings of life from those sometimes uphill climbs!

Chorus

Sometimes the highest hills can bring the smallest blessings

Stumbling on the climb, are just lessons that are learned

( So) Don’t you ever wonder how your life would be without

Oh the blessings of life, from those sometimes uphill climbs

Verse 2

Just Tracing of the steps, back through your journey down life’s road

Counting many of the blessings you mistook for your load,

and now you understand so prayers of thanks sent to the Lord

For the blessings of life, from those sometimes uphill climbs

Tag:     So don’t you ever question all those sometimes uphill climbs

Kathy J. Snow ©

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Language of Prayer

Prayer~ a noun.

I truly believe there are so many different interpretations of prayer, the can be, needs to be, and should be.

Some might say prayer is a closet of solitude where they meet the Lord silently and solemnly appealing for assistance in time of trouble and need ~ others might say it is a beautiful garden where they commune with their Savior, expressing their love and thanks for His MERCY and GRACE. Some might say, prayer is a continual conversation they have with their closest friend the Lord.

Is prayer based on ones relationship with God? Can we say prayer is based on ones pattern of Christian life? Are we allowed to presume the what, when, how, and why’s of prayer, seem to be based on what arises in ones daily routines?

I honestly believe that a Christian walk is a personal walk. You cannot base your journey on others fortunes or misfortunes, or their pebbles and blessings of life. It might encourage or discourage, but should never be deemed as a rule for the conscience of prayer.

I have struggled with prayer so often in my walk with God. Going through trials especially throughout my younger years. I noticed the trend that my prayers seemed to be prayed when I was either, trapped, tempted, or discovered in trouble. I would be anxious and trying desperately to pray my way out of the circumstance. I believe sometimes even praying desperately trying to soften the blow of judgement.

I realize now, that all those prayers where not in vain. While growing in my Christian walk and drawing closer to my El Shaddia I also grew in my prayer life. As I communed with the Lord, talking with Him became second nature to me. Thanking my Saviour for the troubles and seeking guidance, instead of trying to find a way around the trouble without too many scrapes. I also became quite aware that it was a very personal way to worship the Lord and give Him praise.

Psalm 141:2 –Let my prayer be set forth as incense before You, the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.

Prayer is a language of your Christian walk. God does not need an interpreter for ones prayer. God knows your heart and will draw near unto you, as you draw near unto him.

In my book “Pebbles and Blessings” I have written many poems of healing from life’s troubles. “Conscience” is a testimony from a time of prayer struggles. May you be blessed.

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We’ve heard the song to be like Him

For with tearful prayer to be,

Countless prayers to God above

Oh make me more like thee!

 

Despair so deep when plea is made

On bended knee to bow,

Tis when we feel the greatest need

And careless thoughts for vows!

 

Be mindful when implored these prayers

For as they wend their way,

The answer not is what you seek

But clear conscience at end of day!

 

KathyJSnow©

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The Churning of Patience

The entrance to the old porch consisted of a beautiful old door with a special little diamond window. My height was gauged by this window ~ getting closer to peeking through the glass without having to stand on my tip toes, was evidence I was growing!

Looking through the eyes of a child I did not comprehend that all the nicks, scrapes, dents, and stains, where what made up the old doors beautiful character. Looking back I now realize it was an entrance to many wonderful childhood memories!

That door is now hinged to my heart ~ an entrance to my special haven, brimming with treasured chronicles relating to my childhood! Every corner of my heart owns an impression of my grandparents love! I opened that door today with my eyes closed and my soul open to possibilities! My heart chose the wonderful taste of homemade churned butter, and the lesson on patience.

After my dear grandpa fell ill to the dreadful disease cancer, my cousin and I had taken over the chore of milking. The down sizing to the Holstein and Jersey seemed just fine for me however, it was another sign of the demon that was overtaking my grandpa and his farm!

Milk from the Jersey had the richest cream, I recall grandma showing me the art of skimming the rich gold off the top of the milk. I remember thinking that maybe today is the day I would be asked to retrieve the old wooden butter box from the cupboard! I loved how the yellow butter would turn into this perfectly formed rectangle, imprinted with lines like fresh hoed rows in the garden! Making butter with grandma and the old churn was an eagerly anticipated event in my childhood!

I can now appreciate the lesson learned from this event. Grandma would remind me that being able to achieve the result which was: the spreading of delicious churned butter on homemade bread (fresh out of the old wood cookstove), I would have to demonstrate attributes of commitment, perseverance, determination, and above all PATIENCE!

I felt I did quite well ~ although my arms ached, and just about when I was ready to allow a tear to silently roll down my cheek, it was then my grandma would come and gently do the last few turns.

With every “churn” of homemade butter I would increase the strength in my arms. My patience seemed to have grown along with my height, and I had gained a lot more respect for the skill of making butter!

I am drawn to the scripture: Hebrews 10:36 – For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. 

If we learn to pray the prayer of patience and seek His will, it is then we inherit all God’s wonderful promises!

Both my grandma and grandpa have now crossed over Jordan, but behind the old wooden door hinged to my heart ~ lies an inscription of unconditional love, the wealth of lessons that helped mold my young life, and inspiration to always seek the Lord and His strength.

Truly blessed!

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Measure Twice Cut Once

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

When I first started sewing it didn’t take me long to become quite overwhelmed by the numerous terms and techniques that accompanied the language of the craft  As I became more versed in the knowledge from taking time to be taught in detail, I eventually discovered techniques that worked best for me. Getting comfortable with the must-know skills came from the willingness to be taught and hours spent behind my sewing machine.

A few small but very important lessons I learned was you create your own difficulty and errors by not following through with instructions, taking the time to complete the task properly the first time and without cutting corners, a good example of this is when you are constructing a quilt.

I will not go into great detail it would be too lengthy, however a few very important reminders when machine quilting.

  • The main tool, your sewing machine is in top performance working order!
  • You have all the right tools to complete the quilt thoroughly, this includes all your fabric, you would hate to run out just to find the fabric store no longer carries the pattern you need to finish your last quilting block!
  • A very good lesson, measure twice cut once!

Sewing is a lot like our Christian walk with God; In sewing we follow a pattern, if we stray from the guide, soon you will find the more you sew the more your pattern becomes off and out of line, thus having to take extra time with the seam ripper to undo the errors you choose to make, sometimes even having to go right back to the beginning and start over!

In our lives we might think we know the pattern off by heart, we think we know what is best, and we have it all figured out. Until we accept that God has the one and only divine plan, a pattern He has created for each individual who has accepted Him as their personal Savor, we will have to keep bringing out that seam ripper! Oh it might hurt our feelings a little, and tear us a little, but the result will be a strait line of perfect stitches, binding our lives to His to complete our life’s quilt!

Remember, the size of the cut might look right to our human eye, but if not measured by God’s word ~ even off by a hair, will throw everything off and result in stray stitches.

As a Christian we want our lives to be woven with the tapestry of God’s word, that is my heart and souls desire and my earnest prayer.

Kathy J Snow

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God’s Sparrow

Since I am such an avid bird watcher and photographer of the lovely feathered creatures, I am quite certain many will not be surprised of my subject I choose to elaborate on.

One day while I was patiently sitting waiting for a capture, my thoughts drifted to the little brown bird known to me as the sparrow. I began to ponder on the many references to this tiny bird in the bible.

The book of life speaks of other fowl such as the mighty eagle in the book of Isaiah 40:31 – But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

Although I am often in awe of this majestic bird, the eagle, and I do favor that scripture verse and carry it near to my heart, I hold a fondness and compassion for the little sparrow.  I am sure this has been touched on countless times, however I would love to share my own personal thoughts and blessings of this tiny creature that our wonderful Lord created, and to us is known as the sparrow.

I often wondered why the Lord choose to use such a small common bird so often in the scriptures. I am reminded of the scripture, Matthew 10:29 (KJV) – Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

My assumption after reading and rereading Matthew 10:29, was that sparrows were not of much worth, and to most a very insignificant creature, and yet it seems to have its place and purpose in God’s word. My thoughts immediately went to one of the most cherished hymns that was penned by songwriter: Mrs. Civilla Martin, “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” oh how it thrills my soul! The first stanza captures it all for me –

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

 My thoughts are – If our mighty God demonstrates concern and compassion for such a tiny brown sparrow, then how much greater must His love and mercy be for me, a sinner saved by grace? I truly believe that God’s grace will sustain me throughout the rest of my life’s journey, until the day He deems to call me home to glory, until then, I remain His faithful servant.

Thank you God for your little sparrows!

 

The Sparrow

Though the wind around me blow

Storms amidst a gale,

Among the shadows there is refuge

A haven within the vale.

 

Tossed about in utter turmoil

At times to veer off course,

The winds are strong and seem to power

Within the soul a stronger force!

 

For no reason be discouraged

Or faint to give to will,

Assurance safe within the verse

Awaiting promise to fulfill.

 

Consider how the little sparrow

Is minded by God above,

Fill your heart with melody

Sing praises full of love.

 

Be joyful with abundant song

For captive now are free,

His eye is on the little sparrow

And I know He watches over me!

Kathy J Snow©

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The Thrill of Interpretation

I recall the thrill when my English professor would distribute several poems, and as an assignment we were to write our own interpretation of each one! It was always so interesting to hear other students clarify their thoughts on the same poems!

This poem was written perhaps, from a tortured minds point of view, struggling from past sins? Did this tortured mind finally make wrongs right with his or her maker? I enjoy writing poetry where different conclusions can be surmised. As a writer I am indeed hopeful that there was a positive outcome to this verse.

What is your interpretation?

Echoes Through Glass of Time

 

I walk the halls retracing steps

Distorted boards where feet once crept,

Where portraits of life once draped the walls

Bartered for dust to cushion their fall.

 

Sense of voice as once filled the air

In its place ghostly figures now congregate there,

Memories are haunting as time now stands still

Echoes of burden through the air send a chill.

 

As I slip through the pane broken glass of time

Without Looking back forgetting the crime,

Now once called for the soul is at rest

I break through the realm it is over the last test.

Kathy J Snow©

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Melody of Life

songinyoursoul

The song of my soul

hangs in the shadow ~

the shadow of the old rugged cross!

 

Penned by His nail scarred hand

blood stained notes hold the melody ~

the melody engraved upon my heart!

 

Stanzas of salvation bursting with love

lyrics that cling to redemption ~

the redemption by the blood of the lamb!

 

I lift my hands in praise

to the artist of my song ~

the song, my melody of life!

 

Kathy J Snow©